You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
