So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I don't think brook has ever known best
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
