i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
