whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
