yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
