so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
