I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
