How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
