i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
