Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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