3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize