i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
