see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
