I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize