just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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