we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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