Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i love accidental penises.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
