Cold hands, warm shart.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
