It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
