FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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