Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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