I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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