I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We need to rekindle our bromance
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Help. Why am I so naked?
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