oh fat girl friday strikes again...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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