hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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