just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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