I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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