Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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