don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
