I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
