just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
