Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
