it was like eating out sand paper
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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