So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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