Can Purell be used as lube?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Alive.
So much puke
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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