my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Come on in and take your pants off
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
