dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
