Reggie can tackle my bush.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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