That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
