Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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