i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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