what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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