I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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