The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
