Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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