we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You were trust falling into bushes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
