Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize