Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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