i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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