and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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