I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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