my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
