yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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