I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Randomize
