I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she peed on how many people?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize