ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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