Plan B is the new Plan A
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
