my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You smell like stripper and shame
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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